Scared.

This isn´t the usual Life On The Farm blog entry, but you will forgive me, won´t you? I may not be able to blog again for a little while, and I need to let everyone know what´s going on.

Paddy is in the hospital in Palencia. We took him to the doc. this morning because since Friday he´s been bleeding from "down under," and he started to get concerned. He finally told me yesterday, in his usual dry way. He didn´t want me to worry. Right.

So after a few lame jokes about Good Friday and misplaced stigmata (we toured a Poor Clare monastery on Saturday in Carrion de los Condes, with lots of bloody-wound decor) we hied him off to the clinic this morning. They handed him a form and said get thee to the hospital Emergency Room ahora mismo, pal. And so we went.

And that is where he is now. They´re doing all kinds of tests, and in the morning they´re going in to see what they can see.

The first bunch of results came back fine, we are told. Not to worry.

So I am back at the Peaceable, where men are painting the inside of the house and treating the ceilings for woodworm, happy as larks. I am told to collect toothbrushes, slippers, a new novel, etc. And a dictionary. If this day has showed me anything, it is that sometimes my comprehension of spoken Spanish outstrips Paddy´s. So maybe he is afraid, too, just a little.

Everything here is on such a fine balance... a broken arm, a lost checkbook, so many things could so easily send this entire enterprise crashing to the ground.

In my heart, in the long run, I know things are going to be all right. But it´s the short run that kicks the crap out of people. So I am letting myself feel afraid for now, so I can get through it and get over it before I have to drive back down to Palencia and be brave.

If you know how, won´t you say us a prayer?